Forever sorry
by flyingmutatedmonkeysqurrils23
Summary: Helga writes a letter and drops it in class and The rest of the gang, now in high school, find it. Can they find her in time? Or is this the last time Helga G. Pataki is ever seen, much less alive.


This is my first Hey Arnold fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own Hey Arnold

**Thoughts**

_Writing_

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_I Helga G. Pataki never thought I'd end up here like this, though I probably should have seen it coming. I always masked my pain, my love, and my feelings with anger. It kept me from getting hurt less if no one got close than nobody could hurt me. All the way through elementary, middle and even some of high school I kept this train of thought and slowly they started to leave even when I was tried to be nice. But the ones that hurt the most were when Phoebe told me she couldn't take my abuse anymore and walked away laughing with Lila and Rhonda and when Arnold screamed that he hated me, that they all hated me. I've known that for a while but to hear him say it hurt more than words could ever describe. I knew Arnold could never love me a monster, a mistake, a useless waste of space. Maybe just maybe if someone had stopped to really see me but no one cared enough about me to do that, not even Phoebe knew, the kind of pain I held in everyday; the tears I shed at night. For the past 4 years, since 9__th__ grade, I haven't had a place to call home, heh if you could even call it that place home. For 4 years I've been homeless, alone, scared, and slowly breaking-no slowly dieing inside. I broke a long time ago. But for some reason I continue to live, I don't know why but I do. However today I give up I don't want to continue to fight it just hurts to much and I have no energy left to try. I'm not really surprised nobody noticed how I acted today in school. Or the fact for once in my life I openly cried in front of others. Its not that nobody notices me that hurts, I'm all but used to that, it's the fact that nobody, not even the people who created me, will miss me when I'm gone. They probably won't even have noticed I disappeared, they won't even find me probably till my dead body starts smelling or someone stumbles upon me; and when you do find me and this letter I'm sure you'll throw a party. Heh no I think all you should find is the letter just so people know the real me, the real Helga G. Pataki for once even if it is brief and flittering like leaves on a cool autumn day down a desolate street. I won't trouble you with finding a body and having to clean it up. I've already been too much a nuisance. First and for most I would like to start by apologizing to everyone, I know your lives would've been so much better have you not had the misfortune of meeting me. Phoebe, I'm sorry I couldn't be a good friend but you have a great life now and I hope you'll be forever happy. Arnold,… I'm so so so sorry I put you through years of abuse I'm glad to see you happy and I hope that you'll be forever happy, just I know you don't care but I had to tell you at least once even if not face to face, I will forever love you for the longest time even though you hated me you were the one thing that kept me going and for that I thank you. Rhonda and Lila, please honor this last request from an old friend, please I beg of you take care of Phoebe make sure she's happy and kick the asses of anyone who hurts her; be the friends that I couldn't be to her. Mom and dad, I'm sorry I ruined your lives, I'm sorry that I was born just know no matter what I will always love you both despite the fact that you don't want to be you are my parents and I understand why you hate me I do, and its ok I hate me too. Ogla, my big sister, I love you so much even when everyone else gave up being nice to me you didn't and that helped me so much more than you could ever imagine. I wish I could be stronger but I guess I put you all through so much misery being alive so here's my last gift to you all; the only good thing I've ever done for anybody in my entire life. Ha this is going to sound so cliché but I guess this is my last goodbye. Please who ever finds this read it to everyone that is my last wish._

_ Forever sorry H.G.P_

Helga sat in class writing her suicide note though, of course no one noticed. Just as the bell rung she got up to leave bumping into someone dropping all of her stuff. Her eyes widened as she saw who she bumped into. Arnold. Mumblings a quick apology she gathered her stuff and ran out of the room.

"Did she just apologize?" asked Gerald completely in shock like the rest of the class.

"She was crying" Arnold said absentmindedly feeling his heart clench unexpectedly. The rest of the class, comprising of the rest of the gang, whipped their heads around so fast one would think they would get whiplash. "She was crying Gerald. Why? Why was she crying?"

"I don't know man I don't know" Gerald said softly.

"Hey what's this?" Phoebe asked picking up a piece of paper with Helga's handwriting on it.

"Well read it" said Lila impatiently suddenly having a bad feeling.

"Yeah ok, _I Helga G. Pataki never thought I'd end up here like this, though I probably should have seen it coming."_

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I literally broke my own heart and bawled my eyes out writing that letter. Please R&R.


End file.
